rest in peace

rest in peace milly. You were a great dog. I remember seeing you when you first came to my house. You were so shy and nervous. You even had a pink collar. After a couple weeks, you became a brat. Always hanging next to my mom, or looking for my brother. They were your favorites. I loved it when you came crying to go to the bathroom. You're the only dog that I know who does that. You would never go pee or poo in the house ever. That's a small reason why mom loved you so much. I knew that you went through a lot of hate and abuse with your previous owner, but when you came into our house, I knew you were going to forget about all that. My mom loved you like you were her own son. You would always try and get her attention. I miss you. I miss how you would always come to me only if I had food, or you wanted to go to the bathroom. You would always cry and beg for me to pick you up and put you on my bed at 4am. I miss you so much right now. When I got home and found you on the floor, I knew something was wrong. You would be able to get back up and usually walk around, but when I saw that you had no strength for anything, I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry you were in so much pain, and I'm sorry I treated you wrong at times. You already know how much the family loved you, but I wish you knew how much I really cared about you. I know that I shouldn't be so attached to a pet, but you were really like a little brother to me. I always had to take care of you and watch out for you,but those were the best times I've had. After I lost grandma, I would've always been home alone and sad. I'm thankful for having you be a part of my life for the past three years.

rip milly. 8/6/05 - 12/19/08

No title.

New Life youth went to a retreat to Yosemite Prayer Mountain. To be honest with you, I wasn't expecting much. The week before retreat was just horrible, and I was starting to lose trust in God. Shocker huh? Life seems to get harder when you try to get closer to God. at least that's how it is for me. As we got to the retreat place, we unloaded and had worship. During that worship, we had a time of just meditation for some, crying out to God for others, or just to worship. I wasn't yelling at the top of my lungs, screaming out to God, and asking why he was making my life so hard. I was just listening to others pray. I was hearing the prayers of true believers. They weren't praying for themselves, they were praying, with a fire, for their fellow brothers and sisters in christ. They were asking God to comfort, lift up, and just guide whoever it was they were praying for. I wasn't sad or gloomy about the whole dog situation. I was just looking for escape from all of this. From the drama, friends, family, personal problems. I was at the retreat to really experience isolation from the world, and to experience God. My goal was to just listen for God. It was to just hear what God wanted to tell me. One verse that stuck out to me was Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.

This verse is so beautiful. Especially in the morning when it's just time between you and God. Be STILL and KNOW that I AM GOD. usually in the morning, that's when my thinking switch is turned off, but when I read that verse, I really just meditated on it. God showed me that prayer and QT is very essential to your faith.

As for being back home, I feel like I'm being bombed with thousands of problems and conflicts. Our leader Mike said that it would happen. He said that the Devil is out there to bring us down and drive us away from God. It's not going to happen. I'm ready take on whatever the Devil has in store, because I have God on my side. As corny as that sounds, I'm not backing down.

winter break

It's not supposed to be 30 degrees fahrenheit in fremont during the winter.My dog isn't supposed to be this sick. I'm not supposed to be under so much stress. There are a lot of things that aren't supposed to happen, but it happens anyways. I should be like Job. No matter what happened in his life, He stuck by God and trusted in him. I need that mindset. No matter what is thrown in front of me, I need to trust and believe in my God. Now you can read about my personal problems and just say "Oh wow this guy's life sucks...or wow... He's pretty religious." I have no reason to tell you about my life. I only write on this to remind myself of the struggles that I've gone through in the past, to overcome and establish a new mark. I write on here to remind myself that I change. I write on here to remind myself that I'm never perfect. I tend to forget a lot about the struggles that I go through, and I'm too selfish to help out others when I see the same problems. There are always ups and downs, but I still come out with my head held up high.

















:|

This past week

This past week has been terrible. worst week before winter break I've had by far. Lost to irvington, and when I got home, I found my dog lying on the floor, vomit everywhere, and he couldn't get up. He's been in the hospital since Wednesday night, and from what I know, He's not going to be coming back home. He has a virus and I just want him to be as comfortable as possible. I pray that he'll come out okay, but it's likely that he isn't going to.

LIK O M G

good to get this thing off my chest. Now I'm just waiting for an answer.

Dreams I like this song?

I got second at novice. This just drives me to work harder to get first. Empty Me - Chris Sligh is a good song. Even if he was on american idol and looks like Jack Black/Jack Osbourne :]

HEY YOU

For the most part, today went pretty well. First match, I got a bye :]. Second match, I won with points. Third match, I lost against some guy from Pittsburg, and got 2nd place. I'm just happy I went to the tournament and went with my team. my teeth hurt right now.

Groups, cliches, and acquantinces.

Today I walked around American at lunch. By myself. I was listening to music, and I was thinking to myself, Why do people act so differently around friends? What makes it so attractive to be accepted into a group, that is so judgemental? I don't know, that's just me talking. I've been through a lot. Groups that judge by sight and actions. I know I don't fit in. I know that I'm not accepted, at least fully by everyone. God accepts me with open arms. While I was walking around school, I just focused on those people that sat alone. That ate alone. That walked alone. I don't know why I focused on them so much. I even imagined Jesus, being alone. No one talking to him, no one saying hi, no one even acknowledging him. When Jesus was put on the cross, no one wanted to have anything to do with him. Peter even denied him three times. We do this every single day. No matter how we look at it, I personally think, that we can't fully trust in God enough to pull through for everything we want from him, because we ALWAYS forget that God is here. God is infinite. God is really indescribable. He's so many things, and He's perfect. God can open up your eyes and reveal to you, anything and everything you've asked to see and probably more. God can rejuvenate you, and give you the burning passion that you've been searching for. Lately, I've been thinking about what Jesus said when He returns.

(Mat 25:41 NIV) "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.

(Mat 25:42 NIV) For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,

(Mat 25:43 NIV) I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

(Mat 25:44 NIV) "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

(Mat 25:45 NIV) "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.

I don't want to say, that I never invited Jesus in, or that I gave him nothing to eat and drink, or I never clothed him, or looked after him in prison. I hear stories of people seeing Jesus' face on those in need. I hear of people who really just give up everything just so they can store up their treasures in heaven. We hear that phrase almost every weekend. Store your treasures in Heaven. I don't think enough people take that saying seriously, including myself. I think it's time to start living as Jesus would want me to live. PS. I read Crazy Love. It was a pretty good book. If you want to read a book to challenge yourself to your christian walk, or even just get a jumpstart to get back with God, read that book. God works in very mysterious ways. :D