Since I have Nothing Better To Be Doing

I've decided that I'm going to take some time to sum
up how junior year has been for me. It's 6 months into the
almost ending school year, and it has been probably
the most boring of my high school years to date.
This year has been full of classes that I don't
really need to take, teachers that don't really
need to teach, and people that are still coming
to realize who they really are. There was a very
low point for me and that was around the time of
winter break. My dog died on the friday before we
got off to break, our car got broken into on new
year's eve, and our house got broken into around
the middle of January. Personal problems also
arose, but they were just thorns in my side
compared to those bigger issues. These problems
just kept on piling after another, and I kept
asking myself, "Do I really deserve this?". Now
that I look back and really think about it,
I was completely off track with God, and my
spiritual walk was drained. I had no sense
of direction and no sense of reality. Things
are starting to get a little more clear for me,
but some things are still very hazy. I can't
seem to understand God's reasoning for whatever
happens in my life, but I've learned that I need
to follow with faith. Now faith itself is simply
meaning to have a firm belief in something for
which there is no proof. It also means to have
complete trust. So "living by faith and not by sight"
can mean that you have to give up holding onto the
world, and just being in it. It can mean turning
from your old self, and completely surrendering
to God's hand and will. It can mean something
as simple as trusting that God will help
you to pass your permit test. For me, I think
that I need prayer and faith the most at the
moment. It's going to be rough and a constant
challenge to grow in my faith, but I know for
a fact that when I've felt that I reached a
goal, God will present me with an even harder
goal. This is how I see God. He never stops
loving you and never stops to amaze you.
Right when you think that you're finished with
something, God gives you a huge second helping to
finish. Now I keep forgetting that it's not me
who's going to be rewarded. It's all for God's
glory. So this week, my goal is to really apply
myself and do QT twice a day, and to pray.