Relapse

here we find a familiar face, with a familiar feeling.
closing our eyes and being intoxicated with a scent
somehow always lingering as if falling from the ceiling.
breathing deep until the very last ash falls off
and leaving a bitter taste of regret.
Being lost within all that causes harm
constantly falling back and relapsing into a pit
trying to claw our way out to reach for an arm.
suddenly swept away by that intoxicating scent while
losing all wit. constantly held back and relapsing
into these thoughts. constantly held down and relapsing
into something long sought.
at the same time asking yourself why this was real
only wanting to escape and never feel
this pain, this relapse, this bitterness.
It's true that when we love what is harmful to us, the only
thing left is a relapse.