Please

help me to forgive
allow me to be at peace
not just for a moment, but for every
single moment I think of you, see you
want you, miss you.
Give me peace. Help me to forgive you.

shine

it's time to start.































let's not linger on and walk blindly in the past
rather stepping forward into something new and unknown
we'll go farther than we have ever before and laugh
as we compare how insignificant these obstacles have been
and as we find a new home
let's dust ourselves off and begin a new path
we'll continue to fall and stumble on the way
but it'll all be worth it as we take off that mask
and breathe in that crisp fresh air and finally say
"Let's start"

Relapse

here we find a familiar face, with a familiar feeling.
closing our eyes and being intoxicated with a scent
somehow always lingering as if falling from the ceiling.
breathing deep until the very last ash falls off
and leaving a bitter taste of regret.
Being lost within all that causes harm
constantly falling back and relapsing into a pit
trying to claw our way out to reach for an arm.
suddenly swept away by that intoxicating scent while
losing all wit. constantly held back and relapsing
into these thoughts. constantly held down and relapsing
into something long sought.
at the same time asking yourself why this was real
only wanting to escape and never feel
this pain, this relapse, this bitterness.
It's true that when we love what is harmful to us, the only
thing left is a relapse.

by your side

It's only 30 days until Graduation.
A long waited dream (johnny -_-) that feels so unreal.
Before I know it, I'll be leaving an environment that
has been so welcoming to me for the past four years
and enter another that will leave me unresolved.
I've recently come to a decision that will be a very
very big commitment for me. I honestly went on a whim.
Maybe you can call it a push from the Holy Spirit, but
I'm willing. With that coming ahead, I can only hold on.
By taking this step of faith, I know God is going to do
something incredible. Yet, why do I feel so unsure and lost?
With every step that I take, I continue to feel surrounded
and that much more distorted. It's time that I allow the
light to shine again. We weren't created to hide that light
and we weren't created to create a glare or distort that image.


So that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. Philippians 2:15

As the months pass by and as I get closer to this goal, I'll stand
by this verse and hold on. no matter what happens, all I can do is
hold on to the only constant thing in my life. My relationship
with my Lord and Savior: Jesus Christ.
































Dear God,
Please help me to hold onto you. No matter how things
may turn out, I trust in you. You've been so good to me and
proven yourself to me over and over again, when it wasn't even
necessary. Lord, just help me to become an empty vessel for you
and to do your works. In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.