For as long as I can remember, I've always had an automatic reaction to give.
From giving an afternoon to grab some lunch and cheer a friend up
to sitting in my car for hours, listening on the other end of a phone call
through tears and broken sobs. No matter what, if I held someone close to me
I would give them anything they ask of me. By nature, I gave cheerfully.
I've heard "you're really too nice". I've been taken advantage of, to be
that "nice guy". Of course, if you were close to me, I wouldn't care.
I can't help but be available to those I hold close.
The sad fact is, that no matter how close someone is to me, it might
not be the same for that person. I can say they're one of my best friends
but to that person, I'm just another nice person to listen and vent to.
I'm not saying that I regret ever getting to know you.
How was I supposed to ever know that you'd have this irrational
fear? Sadly, the time and love that I gave to you as a true friend
will possibly never be returned back...but it's okay. I understand
to a certain point that I should've seen this coming. Honestly, I
never expected the spins and turns our friendship took..but over the
years, I can say that I grew more mature. I learned to become
more compassionate to others around me. I've learned to give without
expecting anything in return. I'm sorry for becoming so "attached".
I really hope, that we can see eye to eye one day and look past this.
If not, I am grateful for getting to know you these past few years
and wish you only the best in life.
