Character

For as long as I can remember, I've always had an automatic reaction to give.
From giving an afternoon to grab some lunch and cheer a friend up
to sitting in my car for hours, listening on the other end of a phone call
through tears and broken sobs. No matter what, if I held someone close to me
I would give them anything they ask of me. By nature, I gave cheerfully.
I've heard "you're really too nice". I've been taken advantage of, to be
that "nice guy". Of course, if you were close to me, I wouldn't care.
I can't help but be available to those I hold close.

The sad fact is, that no matter how close someone is to me, it might
not be the same for that person. I can say they're one of my best friends
but to that person, I'm just another nice person to listen and vent to.

I'm not saying that I regret ever getting to know you.
How was I supposed to ever know that you'd have this irrational
fear? Sadly, the time and love that I gave to you as a true friend
will possibly never be returned back...but it's okay. I understand
to a certain point that I should've seen this coming. Honestly, I
never expected the spins and turns our friendship took..but over the
years, I can say that I grew more mature. I learned to become
more compassionate to others around me. I've learned to give without
expecting anything in return. I'm sorry for becoming so "attached".
I really hope, that we can see eye to eye one day and look past this.
If not, I am grateful for getting to know you these past few years
and wish you only the best in life.

Catching

Once again, I find you here out by this door
should have known that by now no one is keeping score
funny to think that stepping into this room is refreshing
at least now, the paintings are gone and the gaze is catching
so attractive to these lens we call eyes
wrapping up so tight that you nearly go blind
staring down onto the floor to your next step
before stopping and bumping into a little chest
Yes this chest is open in front of your view
don't worry about it, since it's only keen to fools
oh wait, why is it that the open cavity stares before you?
must I forget to mention that you are but a tool?
winding down this long flight of stairs
catching your breath and gasping for air
shall we walk together now and look back?
a continuous reel of film passing on track
this reel only playing what you want to see
why is it that the mistakes and regrets are with me?
surely you know by now that this is where it ends
but something is tugging and pulling and starting to bend
the reel stops and only a white screen is here
have you forgotten already dear?
If winding your fingers into mine was such a crime
why is it that I still find the time
to surely spend and write over these walls
until my vision is blurred and I begin to stall
I know that I have done wrong and opened pandora's box
but now this curse is where it belongs
only to leave but a faint impression of ink and wood
funny to think that this is where we all stood
before and once again now we hear the clapping
applaud and shout as sure as your eye is catching
now you've seen through my own cue
I'm sorry but now I shall pay my due
Maybe this will not be enough to repay
but feel free to take and take and take
until all I have left is my mirror image before a room
surely a sign of leaving soon
do not worry for now about me
because my mind is as gone as the dark blue horrid sea
down by the dust i leave this key
hoping one day you'll look for me.

Because perspective changes everything

The words that drop faster than gravity
landing as the impact of spring's first rain
Crawling so deep into the ground only to evade
the harsh truth that is so clear as the sky
please, oh won't you please take this away
as I cannot stare any longer before the poor
reflection of what once stood with such valor
now fading as rust begins to scavenge away
the feeling of these two fragile lungs sinking in
only to walk past what remains a skeletal image engraved
realizing that no more, will we share what we had
and yes, surely as the times of sand
only shift towards the bottom of the hourglass
will time ever bring back what was at last
the downfall of all that was built?
surely as kings reside over conquered cities
there is only one who wishes to be
that ruler over this land within me
no you will not take this from my hand
if it is Your will, then let it be done
now what is there left to say as we become
the finely detailed and so perfectly assembled
sounds only echo past these deaf ears
as a blank stare is thrown into the air
wishing, counting, and hoping that there is escape
now we find ourselves stuck within space
gasping for air as we cannot see nor breathe
finally what will become of you and me?
there is no telling what is next on this road
but knowing that we will be together at home
for now we must move along and start again
from two strangers beginning to mend
"It is for the best" we both think
but remember "because perspective changes everything"